The Twin Cities Mom Collective is a site created to connect mothers residing in the Twin Cities by giving them advice, helping them find activities, and providing resources that help them navigate the journey of motherhood. Danielle Venticinque is a writer for the website and a health and wellness guru, author, actress, mom and entrepreneur. During the pandemic she started Thrive Betterment personal growth products to inspire women to cultivate accountability and self-management while maintaining healthy habits and a positive mindset. In March of 2022, she wrote the article, "Can You Teach a Child Self-Worth?" to discuss the ways in which mothers can help their children recognize their value in this world and create their identity. Venticinque believes that children are not predisposed to question their worth. In her opinion, children feel worthy until they are shown or told otherwise with a combination of words and actions from their parents or others. As parents, it can be a struggle to strive to do your best and to allow and encourage your child(ren) to experience all that life has to offer and not be held back by their own limiting beliefs. However, there are a few things you can do to nurture their self-love and worth. The first thing to do is to make them feel important. These days, we are all busy. We constantly get bombarded with texts, calls, emails, etc. and you are forced to multitask while your children go on and on about school and who didn't play with them during recess, or whatever else they want to talk about. It can be challenging to remain interested in these "trivial" conversations when you have deadlines and other "more important" things to do. In these moments, try to remember this quote by Catherine M. Wallace: "Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big things when they are big because to them, all of it has always been big stuff." Try your best to put whatever you're working on aside and give them your attention; be genuinely interested in what they wish to share. Children wish to be seen and heard; actively listening will make them feel loved, important, and worthy. The next thing you can do is nurture their strengths. Your child may have a very obvious talent or skill, or maybe you'll have to dig a little to find a talent that is unique and original to them. Either way, "focusing on and promoting their strengths will stroke their egos." It's crucial that you encourage them to keep working on their skill or passion, add more into the mix, and most importantly, build confidence. Next, you should give them opportunities to grow. "Stepping outside our comfort zones is where the most remarkable growth occurs." Encouraging your kids to try new things will inspire fearlessness and possibly, give them the confidence to create a lifelong habit. It's important to remember, however, that when presenting your child with these new opportunities, they need to be aligned with their capabilities and the growth trajectory that they are on. "Don't ask them to try a backflip if they haven't mastered a cartwheel." Another thing you can do is nurture their internal motivators. You may find yourself often using the phrase "I'm so proud of you" when talking to your child, which is great, however, it could lead the child to becoming a people pleaser. It's important to add the statement, "and you must be so proud of yourself." By doing this, your child will begin to recognize the internal pride that becomes an intrinsic motivator of which they can tap into in the future. You can also have your child practice "I AM" statements. These statements are considered to be some of the most powerful we can speak. Those two words as well as the ones that follow them have the ability to cultivate strength and empower or disempower. As a parent, you will want to give your child(ren) all the possible tools to feel empowered and to love themselves. Venticinque provides a tip that she gained from Mel Robbins which is to have your child place their hand on their heart and include the words, "I am safe" and "I am loved" every single day. Outside of that, they can include whatever "I am" statements that feel right for that particular day and continue to use them throughout the day. The last thing you can do for your child to build self-worth is show don't tell. "Children will do whatever you do, long before they do what you say." This means that it is imperative that you are using kind words when speaking about yourself and always treating yourself with love and respect. If you wish for your children to love themselves, be a role model to them, and never miss a chance to show love and let them know valuable they are.
